Grounding
19 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
My last post came out a lot more whiney than i had meant to and this one is not going to be like that.. I’m going to try approaching this from a more clinical, outsiders perspective of things so i do not let my emotions get too caught up in this.
Definitions of grounding:
- foundation: education or instruction in the fundamentals of a field of knowledge; “he lacks the foundation necessary for advanced study”;
- Grounding is a form of punishment given to children or adolescents by their parents, and typically involves being forbidden from leaving the home, doing bad things, or getting a bad grade report, for social reasons.
Grounding for me is a mixture of the above things and the new age belief of grounding after things like meditation.. Whereas you shift back into the norms you would usually follow. I have been finding it very hard to slip back into those norms that up until i moved were normal. I am not able to instantly switch out of the vanilla roles i find i have to take now. I am not able to juggle social events and i am not feeling my submission as easily as i used to. Its there.. Its very much there but i am finding it hard to associate with it as closely as i have been able to do. In doing these things i am failing my Mistress.. and pulling O/our relationship into an almost toxic state. I have damaged the D/s dynamic and that hurts me very hard. Its a realisation of what i am losing that has been there and slowly developing since i moved into my current situation and has been a white elephant to me that i have not wanted to mention.
I live in another persons house.. A lodger of sorts. As such i find that i am no longer in complete control of my schedule now sheerly because i have to bear in mind and adjust to work with other peoples schedules too. I have been failing to do that and keep to all my written duties. I am more tired now than i have been in months. Actually tired rather than bed= safe space to hide as it was in my last place. So much so that it has led me to sleep in rather a lot. I have been tired so much because of juggling schedules. I do not have full control of my environment now. This isn’t my house. There will be guests, there will be things that happen that i cannot control. There are things that i cannot plan for because i do not know them till they happen. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do to just fix all of that. Some things, the calling Mistress in the mornings, the keeping the calander updated, keeping her updatd during the day ( if you take out exceptional circumstances ..by that i mean social situations and things out of my control). For me there is a certain amount of if i don’t at least accomadate the schedules of the people who own the house i stay in then it will cause immeasurable problems. I cannot control who they bring over.. Its there house.. I cannot control when they want to eat, when they sleep etc. I find myself lost here. I have to do as Mistress wishes me too. I also have to try and at least work my schedule in places with theirs too. Mistress has told me that the only thing i need to focus on is Her and i get that, understand that and am trying to do that.. But i feel like i have to at least fit in with housemates somewhat.
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Girl has been ordered to stop this post immediately. It is coming out again as another “I have to do this and that to make it all work” post. I will not tolerate this. The things she is expected to do are small. Things like:
-Change your status whenever you do something other than what is expected (on gmail)
-Call me in the morning
-Keep me apprised of things that I have to do during the day
Managing these things is trivial. These are not things that are too taxing. The fact that she lives in another house where people can and do come over would be irrelevant if she would manage to do the things like above, that she is expected to do. These “things” help me from getting angry when I don’t know where she is, and allow her to enjoy a social life by simply keeping me updated as to what she is doing.
She will not post again until i feel she is able to do so without sounding like a spoiled princess who simply hasn’t gotten her way. Life for a slave is difficult, I understand this but due to the distance of our relationship she has very little to do daily to make it work. Additionally she has a compassionate Owner who understands Psychology and the dynamics of human nature (slave or otherwise).
Dominant Muse
Humiliation
19 Oct 2009 1 Comment
in submission, Words from my Owner
“girl is humiliated, and wet and horny for Mistress. girl has been teased by Mistress as She was on the way home.”
From Dominant Muse:
None of what she had to say was important but this… I used my girl, my property and I engaged those she lives with to help me. Mr I slapped girls breasts and reminded her that she can and is my slut when I want her to be. Lady S reminded him that he should put girl in her place and as such he forced her to her knees and slapped her breasts again.
Then I took such joy in using girl’s body. I took her in every manner I wished to. I tormented her from the time I got on the train until a full 2 hours later. I used every orifice, every sensation. slapping, teasing, waiting, until she begged me, her eyes wide with pleasure, her body singing with stings from various torments, and her expression of her slave love for me worn like a mirror into her soul.
Humiliation can be so rewarding.
DM
Who do you think you are
26 Aug 2009 Leave a Comment
We are human, we allow other people’s feelings and impressions to shape us. It takes a hardened heart to sit and listen as someone speaks opinions based in anything but the truth and to not let them affect how we feel.
I am not one of those people of “hardened heart”.
Due to someone’s opinions, I will express here what exactly I feel and this will be the end of it. The words my girl posts will be what she has been ordered to post, and I will not hide them. But to those who question: see this page.
