Chyldeofthenorns

The hour of blissful painful torture

20 May 2010 Leave a Comment

by chyldeofthenorns in submission

Last night was a night of little sleep. Mistress and i went to bed late and i got up early to get things ready for Her day at work. As the preparations took place it became clear Mistress was not going into work today due to a cold that She has caught from somewhere. The cold itself isn’t terrible but if Mistress doesn’t rest so it passes She gets very ill very quickly so to halt the tide Mistress took the day off.

After an hour or so Mistress allowed me to take a nap. Not ready to sleep Herself i was very grateful as i have been told many times in the past that i can only sleep when Mistress does while She is at home. I slept for maybe an hour when Mistress came into the bedroom and woke me up with a “boo”. At least i think it was boo i was too asleep to register the word just the noise.

Mistress told me to scoot over and sat on the bed next to me as i curled up beside her. She talked to me of some texts She had received and then pinned me down and tickled my feet to make sure i was awake. I don’t know how long She held me while She tickled my feet it felt like forever. It was so long felt like a million people were tickling my feet. She moved around on the bed tickling me in several spots while holding me down and then she started spanking me.

I cried out in pain as each spank hit my ass. Mistress has a mean mean backhand and my ass stung. She spanked and spanked and spanked. It must have been over 50 times by the end as She both held me down in various ways, spanked me, tickled my feet and legs, tickled my red ass cheeks, my body anywhere She could reach.

And then the biting. Mistress bit my arms, then my legs, to which i was very scared of because i get paranoid about my legs cramping.

Mistress spanked my ass again, and it was getting sorer and sorer and i was getting more and more blissed out and every time a spate of spankings had finished Mistress tickled me waking me up out of that bliss. It was all sheer torture.

There was an hour full of just this, i lost count of how much i was spanked and how much i was tickled or bitten.. And the raspberries, on my stomach which had us in fits of giggles.  Mistress pretending to fall off the bed so i would try and keep Her from falling, and then laughing as She stopped pretending..

So much torture. So so so much torture..

And then Mistress got up, leaving the room and calling back to me if i wanted a toy in my pussy i had 30 seconds to get up and do it. I got up so quickly i as unsure whether i should go to Mistress, put the toy in my pussy and then go to Mistress.. So i compromised and got up and took the toy to Mistress. At 6 seconds left She motioned to put the toy inside me. I whimpered , i was already so wet from all the spanking. As i pushed it into my wet pussy Mistress told me it would stay there for an hour.

She told me to get some panties on to help hold it in place and come join Her outside for a smoke.

As i sat down on the balcony whimpering and trying not to sit directly on the toy pushing it up to an uncomfortable position i whimpered and tried not to moan.

I now have the toy in my pussy and my pussy burns, its driping wet and the toy is constantly rubbing on me and i want to fuck myself with it sooo much..

The Hunt

19 May 2010 1 Comment

by chyldeofthenorns in submission

“She looks up to the mirrored glass
She sees a horse and rider pass
She says, “This man’s gonna be my death
‘Cause he’s all I ever wanted in my life”

~ Emilie Autumn, Shallott

I am so fed up of male subs that i cannot describe it. Self absorbed idiots are all they seem to be. This search for a male sub has taken so much out of Mistress i can not begin. All the disappointment, the hopes dashed, the pain, the upset, the wasted time and the anger.. to mention only the tip of everything. I support Mistress wholeheartedly with this search but when yet another idiot upsets Mistress, or is scared, or is to busy to be bothered, depressed  etc etc i get very frustrated.

I won’t pretend i have not had my own fears or apprehensions, because i have but i haven’t let them get to me so much that they have crippled me and stopped me experiencing what i want to be part of. I worry about Mistress when all our spare time is taken up by one of these males who inevitably get scared or whatever.. and the disappointment starts again. Its a vicious cycle and i am worried about how it affects Mistress.

All that rejection must start taking its toll. Especially because Mistress is scared too, nervous too. This is a new thing for Her and yet She is not supposed to show that. Of course not, She is the Dominant. Pfft i say to that. I can see its taking its toll, and Mistress has said it is. I want very much for Mistress to succeed and find the right person but i am worried, not in finding someone, but about the hunt for that someone.

Eager puppies and maggots

17 May 2010 1 Comment

by chyldeofthenorns in submission

Blog post approved by my owner.

http://chyldeofthenorns.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/men-are-from-venus-women-are-from-mars-erm-hang-on/

It surprises me just how right this post was when i wrote it. It was written when i was in a completely frustrated mood and had had enough and thus far has been completely correct with O/our dealing with men.

I’m not sure i could rewrite another one in its amazing accuracy but i can add some further thoughts on this. When it comes to men i have all but given up on any male submissive. I can almost understand many Dommes position of men being maggots. I can almost see it and think it is correct. That they are pathetic, whiny, eager little puppies that aren’t worth anything.

I’m going to start with something i am going to call eager puppy syndrome. Men seem to get excited about finding a Dominant female. When they get excited they seem to act like little puppies eager for attention. For some it starts off slow, for others its like wham bham thank you Ma’am. For example there has been more than one man , that in his infinite excitement at the first meeting, or maybe second meeting that has begged and begged and begged for physical inspection leading to begging to be touched, and onwards to be played with. The common reason for this is almost pathetic. They have been out of contact with a Dominant female for so long its like their brain shuts off and they are walking around with their dick hanging out like a dog with his tongue hanging out. They crave the Dominance of a female so much that they cannot contain themselves and push and push to be used, inspected, taken .. whatever. I understand eagerness and excitement over finding someone that meshes with you but if i did that with any of the Dominants ( male and female) that i have known i would have been put in my place and told that i would have to contain myself.

Men can almost always not communicate. Even if it starts off well. It always always fades away to almost nothing leaving Mistress to chase after them. That puts Mistress in the submissive position. The worst thing is, they get frustrated if there is no communication from U/us even though they do not contact themselves. Its there as long as eager puppy syndrome remains and then poof. Communication is gone. I’m not even sure male subs can even communicate on anything other than a superfluous level.

Which leads me to talk about passive aggression. Men have a natural propensity to it. It is a rare man that does not cave to anger. Its like crying for women. I’m not sure that they can even possibly change it. It seems like nature to me. Outside of submissives i know maybe a couple of men that do not have that propensity. One of them is a Dominant, one of them is not at all involved in the lifestyle. Submissive men all seem to have this wellspring of hidden frustration that grows and grows and it certainly makes me uncomfortable when it overflows.

All of these things, and the things talked about in my previous linked post lead me to wonder whether the Feminazi’s have it right. Are all men, stupid, dick controlled, pathetic, maggots who cannot control themselves or their emotions.

Torture

15 May 2010 Leave a Comment

by chyldeofthenorns in submission

Post approved by my Owner

Last night was very playful and very relaxing, it only turned otherwise at bedtime. As is O/our usual routine i was giving Mistress her nightly rub and body scratch. We were having fun, playing around. Mistress has this habit of popping Her joints especially when She stretches which makes me completely squirm and cringe. Its like someone running nails down a chalkboard for me. Mistress was playful, and purring when i scratched which i love.

Mistress had granted me permission that day to play while She was at work because i had been so good for the last couple of days *knock on wood that that continues*. I hadn’t because i felt that there were some things that i am doing for Mistress which were more important to be done. Mistress got a glint in Her eye when i answered her question of whether i had done it with a shake of my head and an explanation as to why.

Mistress won’t let me play while She is at home. With the only exception of when She wishes to watch. So knowing that i hadn’t played and knowing it would be days until She was back at work…. the torture commenced.

It started with the belt. I hate that belt and i love that belt and i dread the day when it used on me purely for punishment. Mistress spanked my ass with it, bending me over the bed and holding me down. I squirm under that belt, truly squirm and i do need restraining when Mistress uses it on me. I was whimpering as the pain showered over me. Mistress was enjoying it. I was too as much as i was squirming. I pretend i hate the belt but really i don’t. It hurts and i like that. It sends this bliss over me, i don’t know how to describe it. Imagine how you feel after an hour of massage. It might equal that.

Mistress had me get a dildo and push it inside of me as She watched, then She bent me over and spanked me some more with the belt. My head was spinning, all i wanted was Her.. I wanted the belt more.. i wanted .. I’m not sure at that point i knew what i wanted. All of this was designed to torture me and torture it was as my pussy started to ache and burn and i had to keep the toy inside me or the whole thing would stop.

We went outside so that Mistress could smoke and She had me go out with the toy in my pussy. I whimpered and as i sat down i bucked against that toy so deep inside me it was rubbing the top of my pussy and my stomach ached, my body ached.. All i wanted was to please Mistress. She had me fuck it while we were out on the balcony and i didn’t care who saw . I tried and tried to keep myself quiet as Mistress strictly forbade me from coming and had me stop as i got close and had me go inside.

Mistress then had me pleasure Her knowing how desperate for Her it makes me. As i licked at Her clit and fingered her pussy i whimpered and bucked against the toy inside me. I was so desperate for Mistress. All i could feel, sense , think about was Her as the wetness between my legs grew and grew. As Mistress came , with my fingers inside Her i felt Her, felt Her squeeze around me as She bucked into my face fucking it. Mistress was soooo wet and it was covering my face. She pulled away and all i wanted was Her i couldn’t think anymore. It was torture.

Mistress pulled me up onto the bed and pushed my head to Her nipple. As i suckled and teased Mistress had me use the vibrator on Her clit. As She writhed on it and held my head to Her breast, smothering my breathing and making me whimper in desperation i was bucking more and more against the toy inside me. I was so wet i could feel it as i felt the cock inside me rub against my g spot. As Mistress shuddered to orgasm i moaned in desperation not believing i would be allowed to come tonight and burning inside, aching with desire for Mistress and for a want to come.

Mistress pulled me to Her and kissed me, telling me to use the vibrator on my clit as i fucked against the toy and i came hard, shuddering against Mistress kissing Her, burying my head in her shoulder barely able to breath.

I love torture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Belt

09 May 2010 Leave a Comment

by chyldeofthenorns in submission

Mistress has a new toy. A stiff, thick  black patent leather buckled belt. Just thinking about it gives me chills. Mistress yesterday used it for the punishment that i had been accruing. She held me down on the bed keeping my head up by my hair and spanked me with the belt. It is the first time that i have ever almost pulled away from Mistress while she spanked me it hurt so much. I felt my place and i felt relief as She spanked me from the disappointments of my bad behavior. I felt myself float out of myself and i felt an intense amount of pain that only subsided after the spanking was over. Every strike intensified it more and more. I now have some bright purpley bruises on my ass and it feels good.

I’m not sure how much Mistress spanked me. I couldn’t say how much it kissed  my pale cheeks but i still feel the fire, even diluted now when i sit. I was allowed to serve Mistress yesterday and again today, bringing Her to orgasm as She moaned and trembled. Mistress sounds absolutely gorgeous when She comes. So so achingly sexy. I have missed serving Her and it feels good to me. Even when it is an almost unbearable torment because at that moment as She is writhing in pleasure  She is everything i desire. I may be able to control myself fine but i am not desire-less. She makes me ache and yearn for Her. And She knows it, and torments me with glee. I love when She torments me. I love the laughter and the playful menace in Her eyes. I love being made to squirm and wait and hope for release at Her wish.

Mistress used the belt on me again today. She pushed me onto the bed on my tiptoes as i bent, the muscles in my ass taught. She flogged and flogged and it felt like white hot pain , it made me squirm and it was pushing me. Mistress has never used anything so hard on me and i like it. I like the marks it makes. I like the stinging and the constant reminder. It scares me too, because i know that in punishment Mistress will not stop and give me room to breath and wriggle. I know just how much it hurts when Mistress uses it full force. It is going to work as a good deterrent.

I like being pushed. Mistress and i were goofing around afterward, Mistress playfully spanking me, tickling me, poking me and the reason i love it so much is because it is a special kind of affection that only She and i share. Like being in on some secret or in joke. I remember Mistress grabbed my throat on the balcony just before we went in and i remember thinking how i wished she’d squeeze it, restrict my breathing. Use it to pull me, control my movement. Hold me against the balcony door with it and …. i don’t know but it is one of the things that sparks off fantasies for me.

I am not allowed to release today and i will follow Mistress’s wishes as i always will. I will sit on my sore ass and remember my place, and serve.

Life gets sunnier.

02 May 2010 Leave a Comment

by chyldeofthenorns in submission

This post approved by my owner

Things are settling here i think. Mistress is starting to relax and so am i. I was so wound up after arriving, and the following days that until last night we didn’t really stop. Mistress has been so busy with work lately that She hasn’t had chance to relax properly until i got here either. Jet lag affected me a lot more than last time because of the difference in the light in the sky.

Yesterday was the first day i have been home while Mistress works and i missed her greatly but it was nice to be in a place where i can focus on Her and what She needs. i remember kneeling waiting for her to get home, i did it at least 10 minutes early because i have forgotten the times that She can get back. It made me really focus on Mistress though. It cleared my headspace a lot.It gave me a warm feeling to be waiting in my place after a day of doing what She wanted. Mistress brought me roses last night on the way home. I was so surprised and touched. They were beautiful.

Its been nice catching up with all the people i have missed and it has been good being home with Mistress.

One of the things i love the most is scratching Mistress in the evening before bed. It really helps Her relax and we end up being really goofy together. All the nights we have done this we have ended up in fits of laughter because of many things ( Mistress knows what ) and its nice. When we take the time to do it i feel a closeness to Mistress, an intimacy even if we do not play. i enjoy touching Mistress and feeling Her skin under my fingers. It sends chills up me.I enjoy the vulnerability Mistress shows to me when we do this too. Its just nice to be so close to Mistress, to feel Her breath on my face, the way She rests her head against me, the She smiles and the way She purrs.

Today i’ve done again the daily chores i used to do last time i was here, and i have been sorting out my graphics program which i was having some trouble installing here. But all is well and it is sorted now. I think it will help to have that installed too because i can add some routine to my day.

I’m looking forward to all this trip will hold and the time i can spend with Mistress.