dissapointment
After such a good night last night i phoned Mistress late this morning. I am really dissapointed in myself. We had a really good time last night. I wish more nights could be like that. It was open, and vulnerable. Pillow talk without the pillow. I went to bed so loved up last night. I wished i could have cuddled up with Mistress. It would have been the perfect end to the night, as it was i hugged my duvet all night.By being late this morning its like i ruined the good from last night and it saddens me.
Mistress wakes up early in the mornings just to talk to me, and i know She does it and i love that we have that time. When i am late like this i know it frustrates and dissapoints Mistress. I know it does. I would be to in Her place. I am dissapointed in myself too. Extremely dissapointed. I don’t ever mean to do it but that doesn’t stop the consequences.
I have extra alarms but i had been doing so good i didnt think i needed them, as they are packed i will have to get another one. I don’t want to lose the extra time with Mistress. I love that time we have and it gives me focus for the day. I feel really bad. I let Her down. Thats what it boils down to and i try so hard to be someone She can rely on. Especially now. It sounds odd but i think the relationship has evolved onto its next step and i don’t want to be the one that drags it away from that. That sounds really egotistical. I want to just apoligise, over and over but its just words.. I try to match my actions to the words because i don’t want to lose the time Mistress gives just to me. Its special and when i get up late its like i am throwing it back in Her face. I don’t want to do that.
I know i was bad for phoning late today. Not just because it was my duty but because Mistress takes the time to get up to talk to me in the morning.. I am sorry for it, i will work on it i will, if i have to have a room full of alarms i will. I don’t want to let Mistress down or lose the privelege of time with Her when She gives up time to sleep to do it.
chyldeofthenorns
Dominant Muse
[...] Despite my frustration today, there have been some wonderful experiences as well. It is not often that girl and I can have deep conversations. We’re normally running from one game to another, to just dealing with life. We’re almost always busy in one capacity or another and she does provide 98% excellent service to me (see her post on not waking me up on time…again for the missing 2%) [...]
The Gravity of Love; Collars and Peace « Dominant Muse said this on October 20, 2009 at 1:54 pm |