The gift of play

Mistress had a boy in fetish fire tonight, one who had been playing with the fucktoy She had wanted. She was going to punish him for that, She was going to have me, lowly slave, take him , use him, violate him and fuck him. She had me whip him until She felt like She wanted to expend the energy tooThen had me move to one of the new fuck machines. This fucktoy was lover to the “gimp” i mentioned in my punishment and i admit i took out some of the fear of that event out on him. I was not excited by what i was doing to him because of him. he was too effeminate of a male .. there was just something. I sometimes like femmeboi’s but not him. What excited me was what Mistress was doing and saying, and how i was doing it to please her. I have been feeling more and more tormented lately. Its always there now as mentioned in my last post, to varying degrees and the chance to please Her, even if it wasn’t pleasing Her directly was a relief to it. Today Mistress had me do something small, unworthy a thing really of mentioning, just a task to do during the day and it made me really happy to do it. I felt fulfilled because of it. Mistress has let me play tonight after i asked. I have an.. interesting.. day tomorrow and i had asked after Mistress had told me how well i would do and how strong i was.. it felt like such a wrong time to ask, but i did kind of want to play tonight too. It calms my nerves as well as the turn on tonight was.Mistress just watched me for a while. I like when She does, though i play the cutesy when \She does. it makes me feel like i am hers.

So i’m going to play now and think of tonight and the ever present torment in my head now. Of wanting Mistress, of pleasing Mistress, of watching Mistress of desiring, and degradation , and hmiliation, and of being a good slave and of being a worthless fucktoy, of taking someone for Mistress ( though not that boy from tonight), of performing for Mistress, of being used by guests.. for all those things and more .

~ by chyldeofthenorns on July 7, 2009.