Submissive games and confusion
I need clear boundaries for my submission to work. I think all submissives do. Things with Mistress and i are good. There are rules and boundaries. Its why my submission works.
Things go between very informal to the other extreme rather quickly and i can work that very well. I am used to the switch. I know the things Mistress does and doesn’t like and i know what and what She does not expect. And its what She expects of me. To be able to switch like that. Because O/our relationship is rl and because of the normailities of serving within a rl frame things aren’t all whips and chains etc. There is a time and place for that of course but there are other times, where things are more informal. My service can be that of .. secretary or PA or friend or girlfriend in nature. I think that is normal in a D/s relationship thats going to last. It takes the Dom/me a lot of energy otherwise. But there are are always rules.
Mistress and i were talking today and the subject of me asking to play came up. I don’t have to ask to play anymore, unless i have forgotten a rules change, but sometimes i feel the need to ask anyway. Last night was one of those. By the time i did go to bed last night i was too tired for anything anyway but if i wasnt i would have asked if i could play as we had spent a large part of the day in a more formal way with friends and there was play which turned me on greatly but i was not allowed release. However i know if i ask the answer will be no 99% of the time so i don’t ask. My words to Mistress were there is no point in asking. Thats not true there is point *but*…. I think Mistress likes it when i do ask because of the game of it, as She put it today. The fun of denying me or making me beg.However a lot of submissive/Domme games i don’t play anymore because to me it feel like i am pushing when i do that. Mistress may not see it that way i don’t know. I know Mistress does not like pushing. She see’s it as topping from the bottom. The submissive forcing the Domme into a position to do something. My place is that of slave. I know what that means and entails and the rules with that. The slave has nothing the Domme doesn’t give. So.. if its given…. do i ask?.. Does a slave still play those games? If so how much? Are there ways of coaxing the Domme that aren’t direct? Or is that just topping from the bottom?
I am in a bit of confusion because i don’t know what i am meant to be doing about that because from the way things work with Mistress and i , which has a nice harmony where we both know what our places are.. A lot of the old.. submissive behaviours that Mistress perhaps after todays brief talk She might still like or look for, as slave now i don’t do so much. Especially after my recent spate of punishments for forgetting my place. I do what i am told or is expected. I don’t push, or want to, but that means i don’t dare try the games either.
I’m not even sure if this is something i am meant to be thinking about. Afterall i’m the slave. Mistress decides the dynamic in our relationship. But again Mistress does not want a brainless thing. She likes that i think. After my last punishment i am completly desperate not to forget my place again. Knowing Mistress will push at my hard limits, which.. does give me a thrill from fear and excitement yes, makes me not want to get into that position again too. Sometimes i want to ask for things, or play those games that Mistress mentions but i don’t because i think i am not meant to. Yet i notice Mistress liking it in submissives. And i certainly used to play them. I have been slave to no other before and there are some things now i am unsure on what i should do.
chyldeofthenorns
Dominant Muse
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