Losing myself in Mistress

Mistress and i talk on the phone every morning. I wake Her for work and we talk, sometimes just sit in silence. I listen to Her breathing then. We talked this morning, talked about the upcoming work day, things that had happened last night. many things and we sat in silence too and i listened to just Her breathing. Its a time i really enjoy and without it my day feels empty somehow.

This morning Mistress had just gotten into the car when She started to tell me about the fantasies in Her mind as She played last night. I caught my breath as i listened. I found myself squirming in my chair as i listened with bated breath for every delicious detail. I admit i was surprised. Not that Mistress played, not that She fantasised about me but things have been quite chaste lately and the sudden flip into something else was like fire burning through me. It added to all the fantasies of my own, and made me ache inside as i listened to how Mistress had fantasised about me. About objectifying and using me. About when She had guests that knew of the lifestyle over how i would meet them at the door and pleasure them. Licking them out or sucking them off. How She would use me , naked and on my knees as a coffetable for their drinks, how She would take my ass and fuck me hard and while She did offer my nouth to Her guest, stuffing me. How vividly She heard my gagging as he fucked my mouth, my little whimpers and the noises sucking off brings. She told me about how She called me all the names under the sun, bitch, slut, cunt, whore.. And i craved and yearned for it more and more. I yearned for it like normal vanilla people would crave a gentle kiss. I yearned for the pain, and objectification, the humiliation and the service. She told me how once i had been fully used and finally allowed to clean up that i would be sent to Her room and told to shackle myself and wait for Her, and before Her guest left He would come in and fuck me roughly, using me and then leaving. How She would come in and if Her guest was pleased She would take me hard and finally let me cum after not being allowed to before that point, and if  i had not pleased i would be punished and whipped. The edge of fear crept up in me and i savoured it because it made me even more aroused. She told me how She had fantasised often about having me sleep stuffed, a plug up my ass. And i told Mistress about 2 nights ago, and how i had played, and wanting to feel extra owned that night i had slept with my anal beads in. I knew Mistress wanted something like that, and i knew Mistress would like it. I am glad i got the chance to tell Her. As things have been so chaste i havnt really gone into great detail of my play of late. Nor the fantasies i have had. Or how violent and objectifying they have been too. Of how i fantasise quite a lot about being whipped until i slump in my restraints unable to support myself, the pain coursing through me and the bliss it brings up in me. I havn’t had a Dominant yet whip me to that point, they always stop short. Maybe its just because i can take so much, it takes to long. My fantasies that mirror Mistress’s so much, of being used in that fashion, the name calling, the objectification.The humiliation.  Of how i have fantasised about Her, of how much i want Her body, to see Her, to worship  her skin, to kiss it, lick it, run my hands over Her, pleasure Her and show Her my slavery. Of how in my head i have fantasised every last inch of Her body and the heat that brings in me. How i’ve fantasised of being taken until i beg for it to stop, and beg and beg and Mistress doesn’t stop, knowing that really i don’t want it to stop no matter how much i beg. The more time passed since we last played the more violent and .. extreme i guess, my fantasies have become.

Mistress asked me as i listened if ihad my toys handy. I actually cursed in my head for not having them at my desk. They were in my bedroom. Mistress told me i had 30 seconds to fetch them.  I ran to get them. When i got back Mistress told me to push one of my toys into my ass and i did whimpering. Then the other in my pussy. She asked me if i felt stuffed and god i did. Oh god i did. Mistress hasn’t done anything with me in a little while and god it felt good. She told me that after She hung up i was to take one of my toys out, and leave the other in and leave it in  until She got to work at 7.30. And until then i was to keep myself very aware of its presence, to move and squirm on it but not to fuck myself. And when 7.30 came i was then allowed to bring myself off with my toy. No gentleness. I was to do it roughly. At that Mistress went and i whimpered after She had gone wishing for Her voice in my ear. I took the toy out of my ass. usually i would have kept it in but Mistress said that if She was pleased with my post about this that She would use me tonight and i so desperatly want that right now. And iknow if She is pleased and She does She wll use my ass some way and i don’t want to be unable to do as She wishes. I also know that having a toy in my pussy for so long has a greater impact. Something about my ass being fucked is very .. immediate for me. being stuffed and leaving it there equates to feeling owned for me and as good as it feels it doesn’t give the same torment as a toy in my pussy gives me. And being fucked in the ass.. Thats a very quick, violating, pleasurable thing.

So i left that toy in my pussy. I sat and squirmed on it, feeling it burn and dig deep inside me as i fidgeted on my chair and felt it brush my gspot and push inside me. The burning got more and more intense and i tried to carry on with something, i watched some tv, i read for a bit sitting at my desk and the burning and the desire grew and grew. I actually stood up for a bit, clenching and holding the toy inside me and still the torment grew and at this point i lost my ability to pay attention to something else. I think this was about 6.45. Until this point i had been watching the time , praying for it to hurry up so i could release. I sat down at my desk again forgetting to be careful of how i sat and my toy forced itself deep inside me until my stomach ached and i was completly full. Of how the aching was like a wave of sharp pain and pleasure all at once and how i whimpered and buried my head on the desk trying to catch my breath. Then i moved to the sofa, and i knelt on all fours trying to take away some of the pressure from my aching wet pussy. How i buried my head in the sofa cushions my ass up in the air  and still i whimpered. I was startig to forget what was around me and ijust kept thinking of Mistress, of how much i wanted Her, of how much of a slut this made me and just how much She owned me. I curled up into a ball on the sofa and just whimpered, every movement at this point sweet torture and the desire running through me from the tiniest movement was immense. I wasn’t thinking by then. I felt like an animal.. All i could focus on was that toy inside me. I curled up tight and whimpered and moaned and i was begging in my head for Mistress to come and give me release from the torture knowing that that wasn’t going to happen. I lost all track of myself, things got all .. floaty. Like when you meditate for a long time and its like a part of you shuts down and you just feel. I rememer looking up at one point and fantasising so strongly that i saw Mistress there. I know i closed my eyes then and whimpered and whimpered. I looked at the time and it was only 7.10. I was beside myself and i curled up even tighter,  i think my knees were pressed into my chest.

Then at 7.35 i saw the time.. And iwas sooo thankful that Mistress said i could release now. I fucked myself hard.. So very hard.. I pushed the toy in so deeply that ache came again , and still i pushed against it. My thighs were slick and the toy slid in and out so easily. I clawed at myself a little and i pinched at my nipples and when i had cum, as i was coming down from it, every movement sweet agony i spanked my pussy, again and again until finally i felt sated and used.

~ by chyldeofthenorns on June 11, 2009.