Exhibitionist Exposure

It has been a couple of weeks since Mistress has really Dommed me.  Today She has remedied that , and will as the day carries on too.

Mistress has me on cam most days while we do whatever it is we do together, whether that be in wow, or sl, or just talking while we do things. Mistress made me slip out of my blouse, and i trembled with the buttons. I always do when Mistress asks me to undress. I’m not nervous about being on cam anymore exactly. Nor am i embaressed of my body around Mistress. I am comfortable of that. I happily removed my top. In fact inside i was running around like a crazed little girl thinking yay Mistress wants Her girl.  Theres something about Mistress using me, having myself take me, especially when She is watching that makes me feel more secure in my place. i am anyway.. but its like a reassurance of that.

Mistress had me keep my bra on. She likes it. . She had me scratch over the top of my bra, then she had me take my toy, and put it over the top of my jeans, rubbing it there and i did squirm and i think my eyes were practically begging. then Mistress had me remove my jeans, and show her the panties i was wearing, standing back from the desk to do so. I automatically used my arms to cover myself. It was purely an automatic thing. I am actually very comfortable with Mistress seeing me now.

I think the thing that makes me a little nervous now, is appearing.. i don’t know. ungraceful, or clumsy or just .. i don’t know.. falling on my face and making an idiot of myself. I don’t know, getting into a good position, and the inevitable few seconds of getting that position just right. that makes me rather concious.  I’m not used to playing on cam. I actually really really like it. A, it pleases Mistess very much ( so it pleases me), and b, i like that it is something that is very much a first for me.  I like it because its .. well.. i like that Mistress can be my first with something. It makes me feel like She owns me even more.  Theres something kind of special about your firsts.. You always remember your firsts in things.  c, i like it because.. because.. well i think i like to perform just as much as i like to watch.I love that look that Mistress gets on her face as She watches and i like the way she treats me like a toy.

Mistress had me stand with one leg up on my chair so She could see me fully exposed.  I did feel exposed and vulnerable and desperatly hoping i didn’t fall over as my chair swivels. I didn’t and knew it was stable but how embaressing would that be. I played as Mistress watched very closely. She said about how could i think that She didn’t desire me. And She had me cum , begging for her with my eyes and her words as She told me what She would do to me if  She was there, how She would stand behind me, spreading my ass cheeks and taking me as i fucked my pussy. Mistress watched and told me how fast or slow to fuck myself, as i whimpered. Steadying myself with a hand on my desk and my face red, flushed and perspiring a little.

Mistress then had me spank myself on cam, bending and leaning on the desk so my ass was in the air as i spanked myself hard. She wanted to see the little pain slut i am for her. I was almost hoping for her to tell me to get my hairbrush, or something to use to spank myself with.

She told me tonight She wanted to see me fuck my ass, take myself and cum from it. I am excited and nervous because this is new to me, performing on cam. I enjoy it very much, and i like that Mistress sees, says and controls what i do. I like Her reactions and i like that She can see me. I like that it is pleasing to her most of all.

It adds another layer to things that have already grown with the play in sl, imvu and over the phone. I do hope there is more play on cam, i hope there is more torture and teasing on cam. I feel at my most vulnerable on cam with Mistress, and it shows i think the trust. Because it is so new to me it is exciting. It is perhaps the most real things can be right now. I love sl especially because of the complete control present and the visual stimuli that goes along with the energy that comes through .I love the phone because to hear Mistress’s voice is amazing. And cam.. cam.. It means i can see Mistress as I do as She has commanded. I like that its something i have done only with Mistress. Others have seen me on webcam yes. Seen me partially undressed yes. but never playing on cam unless She has ordered it and even then Mistress has only let them see so much.  I want Mistress to see what She can make me do on cam, i want to see what She will push.

As always though.. i want doesn’t get. This isn’t about my wants and more overiding then any want of my own is that most of all, more than anything else.. I want what Mistress wants, i do what Mistress wishes and i live to please Mistress.

~ by chyldeofthenorns on May 31, 2009.