shakti

My evening was spent with Mistress and sister last night.. A perfect night. There are no 2 people i want to be with, spend time with, take in the energy of.. more.

Mistress was busy a lot last night but She was still with us. She put me on cam for the night, and even though She was busy, i got to see Her. I could just watch Her all night.Literally do nothing but watch Her. Watch Her get that furrowed brow when She reads sometimes, watch Her smile, watch Her drink or talk or.. all of it. I noticed last night that She has a smallish mole on Her upper arm, just a spot of one really. I had never noticed it before. That is why i could watch Her all night. Because i want to notice everything.

sis and i talked last night while i watched Mistress, just talked about seemingly everyday things but.. i enjoyed it because i learned about her , about things i hadn’t known before. About her job, about allergies. all sorts of things. Its exciting learning new things about people you care about. Noticing new things about people you love.

Mistress was in .. a mood.. last night by Her own admission.. Not a bad mood though,l but in one of Her moods.. Mistress has many.. Her fire being one of them, loving being one of them. I must admit last night i couldn’t fathom which one exactly Mistress was in. I still don’t get it right all the time even after a year. She pulled me over to one of the restraint pieces and bound me there while She brought sister closer standing closer to Her. Leaving me hanging and watching. She started to tease sister as i watched and squirmed in want of them both. She told us we were beautiful.. There was something in the air last night that wasn’t just squirming wanting needing play.

Mistress talked to shakti last night as She touched her. She told sister how She wanted us both.  She wanted to watch us together, She wanted us both to please Her. She told sister She wanted us together to be Her expression of love last night. I caught my breath at that. I have been very careful with my feelings surrounding sister and i know sister has done the same for her own feelings of me. Mistress knew though, knew how much sister felt about me. And while Mistress touched, and kissed sister in a soft, loving way i long for , that i longed for last night She talked about how sister felt about me.  I was quiet and restrained and listening and watching.. I caught my breath again and again for the longest time.  And as i squirmed from the physical touch i listened wide eyed. It was very heady last night , the waves coming off them both, the want for Mistress driven out of love, and the want for sister in the same way. The want to please Mistress together with sister, of Mistress touching and caressing our skin as we pleased each other for Mistress’s pleasure. That vision alone is enough to make me shiver in pleasure. To make those butterflies hit my stomach and a warmth creep over me and a wetness come. Its not just the physical either.. When i am with them both there is an energy i can’t describe. Mistress told us last night to share that love, that feeling and make love. Not Dominate, or submit but share the bond between us.

A gift that left me speechless. A gift that made me tremble, a gift that made all the butterflies in my tummy muliply a million times i think. A gift that did make me nervous because i do love sister, in a way i hadn’t expected to.  A gift that if i got on my knees and kissed Mistress’s feet, and thanked Her until i couldn’t speak it wouldn’t be enough. She showed great trust in us both last night.. great great trust. There are no words to say how i feel about how much that trust meant. How much my heart is warmed from that trust in me. Nothing matches how i feel about Mistress and the love i have for Her. Nothing comes close to that.

When Mistress left us last night we went to sisters place. A place we have begun to be intimate before. A touch of skin, kissing, letting it build but we had never gotten to the point where anything happened between us. Mistress had already allowed us the gift of intimacy, and tentatively we had explored that. It felt right to carry it on there, in a place cosier than the dungeon of Mistress’s house. It was my suggestion that we go there. I wanted a familiar surrounding for the night.  Partly i think it was a comfort zone thing.

I havn’t said this before, but i think i need to say it. Whenever things have happened, or have been going to happen i have been very careful to let Mistress know how i feel for Her. Partly it is as a reassurance to Her. I don’t want to lose Her out of a sudden fear, or a jealousy or a misunderstanding of words. And partly, it is a reassurance to myself. I wasn’t expecting to feel a love for sister. I do love her deeply. It pales compared to my love for Mistress but there are similarities i can’t hide to myself. I have restrained those feelings and not let them out because i don’t want to feel something i shouldn’t. I am so used to being only for Mistress, that now there is a love for another, even if it isn’t the same as i feel for Mistress, something feels in a way wrong. Like i shouldn’t be feeling it. An unsurety. A nervousness.  Mistress said last night She knew how deeply i loved shakti, but this is new to me. It scares me. Its good, its not a bad scared.. but it scares me. Theres something in feeling love that makes you vulnerable. I wasn’t expecting i would in love with Mistress as i have and i was expecting even less to love sister.

Sister and i spent time talking last night.  For a long time we stood holding each other, kissing and touching each other and talking of those feelings and of Mistress. Both of us last night were trembling as we talked, making our words stumble at times and we explored each others skin, and lips.  As sister confessed her feelings, i trembled some of it i knew , and others i didn’t but.. it didn’t surprise me either. And i let out my own feelings . I let out my feelings for her, for Mistress.. and we lay together and kissed and i nervously touched the places i had longed to touch, to give the pleasure i had longed to give. I lost myself in it, giving into the feelings. I lost myself in sisters touch of my body, i lost myself in her ever mindful of the gift that had been given.

Sometimes you don’t need to talk, your actions, your wants, your desires take over, until it washes over you, until the energy around you crackles. And it did last night, letting out a .. block i hadn’t known was there. And sister was so sure, sure of her wants, and i became sure of mine, knowing Mistress had allowed this, had wanted this too. Had trusted us in this and loved us both for this to happen. There were no reservations, the nervousness washed away as we lay there flushed and in each others arms.  And we shared in each other, shared our wants, those things we yearned for, and sister guided in those times i stumbled, my submissive side waiting for something and i did the same, guiding in moments, being led in others. Tasting, kissing, sharing each other knowing in my heart that Mistress had wanted just this.. an expression of love, of love for Her , of the things She would do while we pleasured each other, and of the thoughts of pleasuring her with another who loved her as i do. I was so sure last night. To be so close to someone loved, to someone loved deep in my heart. And that in someway those feelings were for Mistress too as our bodys intertwined and joined.

~ by chyldeofthenorns on May 15, 2009.