the cage

I’m meant to write about this before bed, i just got off the phone with Mistress but i have suddenly got tired so it might not be as in detail as usual but i am doing my best. I could write loads about new chapters starting and things like that but not in this post. I will explain things more another time. Since i got back off holiday i have not been allowed to release. Its only been 2 days, but after a week, with one hurried exception, of no release and returning to Mistress, and s and l my desire has flared up completly. Partly its a comfort and need thing. But i have been desperatly wanting Mistress.  She toyed with the house slut today, who really enjoys humiliation. She had me take him, making him lower than even a slave in the hierachy of things. and before he could get release she made him watch, while restrained , while she took me in front of him. I was desperate to play at home. I asked Mistress.. she ignored me then until it was finished and then told me i knew the answer to that question. She said no yesterday too.

It had me wondering if i had done something wrong. Or if it was a punishment for the thing i forgot to do before i went away. I know full well one is coming for that. But i couldn’t ask. I’ve asked before about that kind of thing and it annoys Mistress. After she toyed with the house slut it made me want Her so badly, to want to cum for her. At her instigation Her desire, to be Hers. So .. i begged for release. Which annoyed Mistress i think. She told me don’t anger me today girl. I didn’t even dare to ask how it was angering to ask when i genuinly didn’t know. But some questions cross a line and i know my place. So i stopped pushing.

I know i went quiet a bit, but i wasn’t sure what about my behaviour might be angering so i didn’t want to cross a line. So i figured quiet would be ebst.

Mistress left for a little bit. I felt awful when she left. I had no idea why and my dislike of abandonment kicked in even though i knew she was returning and the house slut was there. She came back with 2 things. A bottle of what looked like champagne.. And an absolutely terrifying ( at least to me) cage. I have never been in a cage before they give me the creeps and make me automatically think of abandonment. its an irrationale fear. There is no basis in anything there.

Aftersome talking, my sister s arrived and after tormenting the house slut a bit more Mistress turned her attention tome, telling s that there were 2 new toys i might be using if i couldnt control my begging. And she made me explain and then had me tease myself.. i was beyond myself.

Calyope Andel: I say when you cum slut
[16:28]  Calyope Andel continues whisopering to her
[16:28]  Calyope Andel: not because you beg
[16:28]  Calyope Andel: but because you are my PROPERTY
[16:28]  Calyope Andel raises her voice
[16:29]  phaedre Andel: jumps
[16:29]  Calyope Andel: I OWN you and everything about you even that lovely fucking orgasm is MINE
[16:29]  Calyope Andel itghtens her grip on her hair
[16:29]  Calyope Andel licks her ear
[16:29]  phaedre Andel: *whispers* yes Mistress
[16:29]  Calyope Andel: now
[16:29]  Calyope Andel lowers her voice
[16:29]  Calyope Andel: at home, go get both your toys slut
[16:29]  Calyope Andel: you’re lucky I want to use you, I might even let you cum
[16:29]  Calyope Andel: …might
[16:29]  phaedre Andel: yes Mistress..
[16:29]  Calyope Andel: Go, now and meet us upstairs when you have them

and then she said this to me, which chilled me, and excited me, and i know.. i know this but i guess maybe i don’t know it enough. Enough to know not to beg. I was already spacing a little bit when She said this.. then she had me stick my toy in my ass while s worked me up and up in torment at Mistress’s word. Whipping me on Mistress’s St andrews cross. While i writhed and screamed and descended frther into subspace. While s was doing this Mistress played with her, making s cum while she whipped me. It drove me mad. When s had cum she stopped her whipping me, asking me what i would do to be allowed to cum .

Before this started , Mistress had given me chance to veto the use of the cage. I told Mistress it scared me, that i trusted her but it scared me. But when i was there at that point she asked again and i said anything and she walked over to the cage and i knew what she wanted. She beckoned me over having untied me. I went over and i hesitated.. i was so very close to refusing completly but i wanted release i was at the point where i needed it and my mind was focused on that. I got in hat dreaded cage.. and Mistress fucked my ass while i licked s out. I couldnt move, i felt trapped and scared.. genuinly scared but that gave me this thrill of excitement. I can’t explain it. i spacd out entirely while i fucked myself at  home. i felt like a trapped animal. i felt completly violated in a way i have never felt . it was such a deep feeling. and i loved it, and i hated it and it scared me. I came really hard and afterwards i could barely focus on anything.. i was almost gone .. i managed to focus enough to move, and to acknowledge Mistress.. And i felt clingy, like i wanted her reassurance and just.. a touch. something i dont know. It was one of my bigger trips into subspace.

I still don’t know what i feel about the cage. And i dont know if it came to it again if i would refuse. I trust in Mistress.. i would like to say i wouldnt.. its not the place of a slave to refuse.. and i didnt.. but it took pushing me into subspace for me not to.

~ by chyldeofthenorns on March 30, 2009.