Distance and sacrifice.

You’ve probably noticed i havn’t blogged here in a while.. there have been reasons.. This little girl faltered. THe distance i had been feeling, that fear and paranoia built up to something it shouldn’t. And instead of trusting.. I broke. To the point i had to choose between my collar or something i thought i wanted. To the point i was torn. But i know now.. That i cannot and will not let go of Mistress because i love her. I need her, and i am her little girl, her slave, her sub, her best friend..

Distance can seep  in so quickly and fill all the gaps. Trust me i know and i do not wish anyone to feel it. It isnt always shared by other parties who may think they are doing all they can and more. With distance comes doubt.. and with doubt starts the fear. Communication truely is the only thing that can change that, however communication has to be listened too. And understood truely and a distant feeling is not something easily conveyed. It doesnt matter if both don’t feel it, it matters that one does. And it needs to be talked out before the doubt fear and anger hits. I failed in doing that, and let a bitterness touch me that made me disrespectful and questioning of my Mistress. I failed in my submission and i am happy for the second chance.,

little girl

~ by chyldeofthenorns on August 8, 2008.