whatever happened to little girls submission

One day at a time, i know that, i follow that. But what do you do, when a distance creeps in, one you don’t think is going to go anytime soon? A distance that is noones fault but is due to changes borne again and again and now there is a big big change, one that changes everything and holds your place, perhaps a little.. pushed away. One that leaves you… understandably and needingly secondary in importance while explorations are made, discoverys taken and trust grown in a needed place. One that you worry will force your submission into something without its necessary outlet. One that leaves you scared thinking of that because it is noones fault, and you know you won’t leave the side of you Domme, but… leaves in you a dilemma and a worry. Especially because in this new situation, the needs of the 2 outweigh the needs of the one.

What do you do when it has you pulling away, not in heart, not in devotion and not as a best friend , or as her girl, but in submission, in the more tangible submission other than emotional.Because it hasn’t been there. Trust, trust is key and i do trust but i am confused, and concerned of my place now.Will it take my deepest fear just to realise what my more tangible submission really means or doesn’t it matter now, lost in the excitement of new journeys and physicality i cannot give.

I havn’t been writing here because i havn’t known what to say. Today, due to rl reasons i could not follow my daily duty list and.. where before i would have missed it…i find myself building a wall.. because i am terrified that list will go away, or become lesser in importance.And i didn’t miss it. In fact i look to parts with dread because it reminds me of the submission i no longer can give right now. I have been trying to sty strong and its getting hard now.. I need recognition, sometimes.. you know. I … I need to be seen to, even if this is limited in means because of locality. Any domming lately for me has come off the back of anothers. And don’t get me wrong i enjoyed partaking but… whats happening to this little girls submission.. even as i feel part of it slip away i wonder.

~ by chyldeofthenorns on July 29, 2008.