Submissive Space

I really got something out of tonight. I havn’t felt quite so connected to my submission in a while. It was very potent tonight. I got lost inside this part of me that I havn’t felt so acutely in a while. I was completely humiliated tonight in front of friends and my chain sister. I get this feeling whenever i am put back into my place. I felt loved, humiliated, dreadfully embaressed, wanted, nervous, aroused,small all at the same time. Maybe it was because of my heightened state from earlier today but i felt into the core of myself, my submission.

I have battled with this little girl aspect that i have found coming out lately. But you know….i like it. It is part of me, just as much as the wanton slut, the begging submissive, the quiet dutiful slave girl, the masochist, the best friend, the lover all of it. In fact i think it is a big part that i have been denying for quite some time. Perhaps it was easier to deny it because it is an aspect of my life i have shut off to myself. I have been a very grown up girl early into my childhood and throughout my life. I used to find it at odds with who i was. I don’t think i do anymore. I really do feel like Mistress’s dutiful slave, her slut, her little girl. All of it.

Mistress decided my punishment tonight would be to publicly have me violated in a club full of our friends. I found myself quickly in a very.. spacey kind of space. But i was grounded while it happened. brother eros took me in one hole and Mistress in the other and i was left a whimpering quivering little girl who very much knew her place because i was being thoroughly used. I begged for it not to happen and Mistress forced me down, i begged for release.

Tonight this was purely a more mental, emotional punishment. We did not play it out over the phone as we usually do as well. But it didn;t need to be. In fact i think it was more potent tonight because of that. I really did feel shaky afterwards and completely humilated. I am Mistress’s little girl and punishment like this only enforces that in me. I felt entirely used.

I want to write more but i am starting to get tired so i want to sleep so i can be fresh tomorrow for Mistress

xx

little girl

~ by chyldeofthenorns on June 21, 2008.