To yield is to love part 2

Lets hope this makes more sense. I’m slightly less tired after 2 hours sleep;). Though i’m not sure it will because its less clear in my mind. * rolls eyes* .

Submission is like a calling to me. It draws me like a moth to flame. It feels right, it clicks in me. In it i have freedom to be completely myself. The level i have been able to give myself within that submission at various points of my life has varied by the person I am submitting too. Too yield to someone i have to trust them fully, and there has to be a connection. That has depended on the person. Trust and love are the *most* important things for me in a Top. I don’t do well in just a purely sexual relationship. It feels like something is missing. There has to be more than that. I search it out and i crave it and if it isn’t there then there is not true yielding on my part. For me it takes a great amount of love to yield completely to someone, and that level of love rises as i know a person. To truely yield , fully and completely, there has to be unconditional love and trust. I believe truely that this calling, the way i feel about submission, started way before i had any inkling of D/s lifestyle and relationships. Bare with me this next bit does go somewhere…I grew up devouring stories of knights. Noble men and women who would give up their life to one person, or cause, who would do anything for that. They lived to serve. T completely yield to their calling. To that one person( usually some ctesy princess lol) or cause. When i was a kid.. thats what i wanted to be. A knight. I wanted to spend my life completely dedicated to a cause.. or the right prince or princess lol. Even as a child i wanted to yield myself to someone else. Out of love and devotion. Even back then were the stirrings of submission. When i was old enough to recognise my own sexual desires i knew that i was drawn to men and women and in time came to realise that i as drawn to women more so then men. lol and then the prince went out the window.

I think i am right where i am meant to be right now. i believe that those i call family and the woman I call Mistress were meant to be in my life. The pull i feel to them is immense. Especially to sis Mousey and to Mistress. I’ve not often felt that much of a pull. The level of devotion there is full. I can honestly say that to Mistress i would yield fully and completely. I want to do anything i can for her, make things better. Because i do love her and i want her to be happy. Because she deserves it.

~ by chyldeofthenorns on May 16, 2008.